How Paul and Kathy came to know each other

How Paul and Kathy  

came to know each other

Updated May 31, 2008

    We have been a part of the same Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses for about 9 years and have always enjoyed talking and doing things with each other as friends. Although I liked her as a friend I didn't have the confidence to ever believe that we could actually be more than "just friends". Although age differences never really made a difference to me, there is a six year age difference that made it easy for me to continue to just think of her and treat as a nice sister. I was actually just plane chicken and not confident enough to say anything about my potential interest towards her. Although I was repeatedly drawn towards her "as a friend" at meetings and gatherings. It was evident to her that I liked her in the fact that I made repeated excuses to talk to her.

We continued to find that we enjoyed many of the same types of things like Ham Radio, Sci-Fi, Camping, Black powder shooting. I started arranging for her to be along with us in groups when we went to see movies (Early Star Wars & Star Trek Sci-Fi Movies) or when there was a gathering at a Brothers home (such as one evening at the Burns Family home after the memorial of Jesus' death, that I made sure Kathy was invited to (we wouldn't want to be leaving out our single sisters would we? ;) ) 


     I especially enjoyed seeing her share in the work during our Kingdom Hall quick build project in 1997, I liked how she didn't just hang out in the kitchen, but that she was out with the guys working and actually was getting filthy dirty as she worked. I particularly remember when she was putting away some metal concrete stakes on to a flatbed truck that was up to her shoulders in height, her shirt was just filthy on front, nothing earns a Brothers respect like seeing a Sister get down and dirty with the boys.

Since I helped out with the sound console, I made sure she got the tapes of the meetings when she was unable to attend due to her health challenges and started dropping them off on my way home as an excuse to say Hello to her, and as to get know her better as time went along with our friendship. When she said she was planning to move, I took her some boxes from Fred Meyer (where I worked). Although she did not really know where she was going to move, just that she needed to get out of where she was living, putting faith in Jehovah, she just started packing and looking for new accommodations and then left the rest to Jehovah. (Actually the only move she ended up ever making was after we were married (at least she was already partly packed :)


     It got real interesting in June of 1999 at the memorial of a dear Sister Joan Heagy (whose home I had attended book study for most of my years from youth till that point). At Joan's memorial I saw Kathy rubbing the neck of a Sister, and as another excuse to say something to her I jokingly said "Hey can I get one of those?". She said "Just as soon as you propose".  Although I had thoughts along this line about her, I was sill reasoning things out in my mind as to whether she was the right sister for me (In other words I was still chicken and making excuses). Not to be outdone by her rather bold comment, I couldn't resist later when she made notice that I was wearing one of her favorite ties (It had a repeating quarter moon phase pattern on it) so I whipped back with "Well this is the only way that I can get away with mooning you." (it's a good thing we both have the same silly since of humor or I reckon that a comment like that could have set back our friendship). That very evening in June of 1999 I got up the courage to call her and we really started talking seriously about our relationship and where it was to lead, as obviously we needed to discuss things by our conversational exchanges earlier in the day. From there on we had many more long phone conversations and arranged for ever increasing outings together in group settings.  About this time, Kathy was asked to be a chaperone for a young couple in the congregation and to go along when the Sister went to introduce the Brother to her parents. Kathy asked them if I could come along with them. While they were inside talking to the parents we talked at length outside while walking around the trailer park, and really found out a lot about each other in this relaxed conversation. There were other times when we went along with them to a nearby park down the street where we now live, but it came to a point that we started to decline their invitations to chaperone, as it became obvious that we ourselves were fast becoming more than friends ourselves, and to continue chaperoning for them would have been more like a double date (The other couple did end up getting married just two weeks after we did). From then on we continued to use groups and established couples to continue our conversations together.


   I proposed to Kathy in August of 1999 at Hendricks Park in Eugene at sunset after a rainy coast drive with the Burns family (The Burns were very helpful enablers to us both in helping to get to know each other on numerous occasions). As we were walking along on the park trails I slowed down so we could lag behind the Bern’s who were ahead. Then I said to Kathy “I had a wonderful day with you today, the only thing that would make it better is if you would agree to become my wife.” She replied by saying ”What did you just say? Did you say what I thought you just said?” I repeated (the rather well rehearsed phrase) “I had a wonderful day with you today, the only thing that would make it better is if you would agree to become my wife” At this point her face just glowed as she said “Yes, Oh Yes”. At this point we had our first kiss to seal the deal. We arranged to be married on October 02, 1999 at 2:00pm at our local Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses. Our reception was in my old Willamette High School cafeteria where I went to school and also the memorial reception for Sister Heagy that got us to seriously talking in the first place was held.

Now that we are now happily married, we live in Eugene, OR and are now living in an apartment that I helped to make off the AllensPlace home that I grew up in as a child. We work on fixing the house and yard up as we can. We look forward to living in the new system where we can help to make this earth into a paradise just as Jehovah God originally intended the earth to be for mankind, and raising our family at that time. We aslo look forward to traveling the earth to meet all of our Brothers and Sisters in person.